Sleep Survival in Perimenopause and Menopause.

Let's be honest, if you're reading this at 3:17 am while wide awake despite being exhausted, you're probably not looking for poetic metaphors about sleep being "nature's gentle embrace."

You want real solutions for real problems, like why your internal thermostat seems to be controlled by a caffeinated toddler and why your brain chooses bedtime to replay every awkward conversation from 1987.

Welcome to the menopause sleep struggle, where hot flushes meet racing thoughts, and your once reliable sleep patterns have apparently filed for early retirement. The good news? You're not losing your mind (even if it feels that way), and there are actually effective strategies that go beyond the usual "try chamomile tea" advice.

As well as some factual and practical information we will also take a look at the spiritual side of sleep during perimenopause. But before you roll your eyes and click away thinking this is going to be all crystals and chanting, hear me out. When your body feels like it's been hijacked by hormonal gremlins who've decided 3am is the perfect time for a rave, sometimes the most practical thing you can do is get a little mystical.

The truth is, perimenopause isn't just a physical transition, it's a profound spiritual and emotional journey that happens to come with the world's most annoying side effects. Your sleep disruptions aren't just about hot flushes and racing thoughts, they're often your soul's way of processing this major life transition. So the most useful idea is to work with it instead of against it, which is what I hope to help you with through this blog post.

The science bit

Before we dive into solutions, let's acknowledge what's actually happening in your body. During perimenopause and menopause, your estrogen and progesterone levels are doing their own version of extreme sports, plummeting, spiking, and generally behaving like they're trying out for a reality show called "Hormones Gone Wild."

Estrogen helps regulate your body temperature and supports the production of serotonin, which your body needs to make melatonin (your natural sleep hormone). When estrogen drops, your temperature regulation goes haywire, hence the night sweats that make you feel like you're sleeping in a sauna. Meanwhile, declining progesterone, which has natural sedating properties, means your brain doesn't get its usual "time to sleep" memo.

Add in the stress of life changes that often coincide with this phase (aging parents, teenagers, career pressures, existential questions about what you've done with your life), and it's no wonder sleep becomes elusive. So before we dive into the spiritual side of things lets take a look at some very simple practical ideas you can maybe start to implement.

Practical physical solutions

Temperature Control Strategies

Your bedroom should feel like a cool cave, not a tropical resort. Aim for 18-20°C, but here's where it gets tricky, ideally you need to be able to adjust quickly when hot flashes hit.

The layering approach: Ditch the heavy duvet and think like an onion. Start with lightweight, breathable sheets. Have a look for bamboo fibre, moisture-wicking microfibre, or even linen work well because they don't trap heat. Add a lightweight cotton blanket, then a thin throw you can easily kick off. Keep a heavier blanket or duvet within reach for when the hot flush passes and you inevitably get cold.

Pro tip: Have a spare set of sheets handy so you can change them quickly if night sweats leave them damp. Nothing disrupts sleep recovery like lying on wet bedding.

The cooling pillow game-changer: Regular pillows trap heat around your head and neck, exactly where you don't want it during menopause. Gel-insert pillows provide immediate cooling but can feel too cold initially. Memory foam pillows with cooling gel layers offer a compromise. Some women prefer shredded memory foam pillows because you can adjust the fill and they allow better air circulation.

The freezer pillowcase trick is an option. keep a couple of extra pillowcases in the freezer and swap them out during hot flushes. It sounds extreme, but when you're burning up at 2 am, extreme feels like heaven.

Strategic air circulation: Most of us dont necessarily have ceiling fans , but if you do, a ceiling fan on its lowest setting provides gentle air movement without creating a wind tunnel that might wake a partner. Position it so air flows across the foot of the bed rather than directly overhead. If ceiling fans aren't an option, place a tower fan 3 to 4 feet from the bed, angled to create cross ventilation rather than direct airflow.

For targeted cooling, small personal fans that clip onto bedside tables work well. Some women keep a handheld battery-powered fan in their bedside drawer for middle of the night hot flash emergencies.

Temperature regulation clothing: Your pajamas matter more than you think. Natural fibres like cotton, bamboo, or modal wick moisture better than synthetic blends. Loose fitting styles allow air circulation. Some companies make pajamas specifically for night sweats with moisture wicking properties and ventilation panels.

Consider sleeping naked or in minimal clothing if that's comfortable for you. It eliminates another layer that can trap heat and makes it easier to regulate temperature quickly.

Blackout your bedroom: Light exposure, especially blue light from electronics, suppresses melatonin production for up to 3 hours after exposure. True darkness means you can't see your hand in front of your face.

Blackout curtains work, but cheap versions often let light leak around the edges. Look for curtains that wrap around the window frame or use blackout shades plus curtains for complete coverage. If you're renting or want a cheaper solution, emergency blankets, the reflective kind, can be taped over windows, they look terrible but work perfectly.

Don't forget about electronic devices. Cover or unplug digital clocks, TV boxes, phone chargers, anything that emits light. If you need to see the time, choose a clock with red numbers, red light is less disruptive to sleep, and position it so you have to turn your head to see it, reducing the temptation to constantly check.

Sound management: Menopause can increase sensitivity to noise, making you hyper aware of sounds that never bothered you before. The goal isn't complete silence (which can actually make you more aware of sudden noises) but consistent, predictable sound.

White noise machines that produce actual white noise, not nature sounds that have variations, work best for masking unpredictable sounds like traffic or a snoring partner. Brown noise, which has more low-frequency emphasis, feels less harsh to some people. Apps like Rain Rain or Noisli let you experiment with different sounds to find what works for you.

Foam earplugs reduce noise by about 30 decibels but can feel uncomfortable. Silicone earplugs mold to your ear shape and feel more comfortable for side sleepers.

The phone boundary: Your phone emits blue light, provides endless stimulation, and makes it way too easy to check the time, which often leads to calculating how much sleep you'll get if you fall asleep "right now". This is never helpful.

Charge your phone in another room, or if that's not practical, at least across the room where you'd have to get up to reach it. Use an analog alarm clock instead of your phone's alarm. If you absolutely must keep your phone nearby for emergencies, put it in airplane mode and use the Do Not Disturb function.

The 3-2-1 rule: Stop eating 3 hours before bed to give your digestive system time to wind down. Late meals increase core body temperature and can cause blood sugar fluctuations that wake you up. Stop drinking liquids 2 hours before bed to reduce middle-of-the-night bathroom trips, just make sure you stay hydrated during the day. Stop looking at screens 1 hour before bed to allow melatonin production to begin naturally.

Magnesium supplementation : Magnesium deficiency is common in midlife women and can contribute to sleep problems, muscle tension, and anxiety. Magnesium glycinate is the most bioavailable form and least likely to cause digestive upset. Take 200-400mg about 90 minutes before desired sleep time.

Start with a lower dose and increase gradually, too much magnesium can cause diarrhea. Some people respond better to magnesium taken with a small amount of food. If you take other medications, check with your doctor about timing, as magnesium can affect absorption of some drugs.

Blood sugar stability: Blood sugar crashes during the night can trigger cortisol release, waking you up between 2 and 4 am feeling anxious or wired. If you must eat something close to bedtime, combine protein with complex carbs to slow digestion and prevent spikes.

Good late night snack combinations could be almond butter on whole grain crackers, Greek yogurt with a small amount of berries, or a hard-boiled egg with a few whole grain pretzels. Keep portions small, you want just enough to stabilize blood sugar, not enough to rev up digestion.

Caffeine considerations: Caffeine has a half-life of 6 to 8 hours, meaning if you have coffee at 2 PM, half the caffeine is still in your system at 8 to 10pm . During menopause, caffeine sensitivity often increases, so you might need to stop earlier than you used to. Some women find they need to stop caffeine by noon or even switch to decaf entirely during the worst sleep periods.

Don't forget hidden caffeine sources like chocolate, especially dark chocolate, some pain relievers, green tea, and even decaf coffee (which contains small amounts of caffeine).

Alcohol reality check: While a glass of wine might initially make you feel sleepy, alcohol disrupts sleep architecture, particularly REM sleep, and can trigger hot flushes. Alcohol is also a diuretic, increasing nighttime bathroom trips. If you do drink, stop at least 3 hours before bed and have water between alcoholic drinks to stay hydrated.

So there we have some of the more practical tools you could use, any of which you may have heard or tried before. I'm not suggesting you have to implement everything but if any of them look like they could work then give it a try.

Now we move on to more spiritual practices which you may or may not have tried. I have experimented with many of these and I can categorically say, some of them have been an absolute game changer.

Reframing your restless nights

First, let's flip the script on those sleepless hours. Instead of lying there calculating how exhausted you'll be tomorrow, what if you saw those wakeful periods as unexpected gifts of quiet time? I know, I know, it sounds like something a well meaning friend would say right before you want to throw your personal cooling fan at them. But stay with me.

Many spiritual traditions actually view the hours between 3 and 5 am, as the most powerful time for inner work and connection. In Ayurveda, this is called the "Vata time", when the veil between the conscious and subconscious is thinnest. Instead of fighting your awakeness, try embracing it as sacred time.

This doesn't mean you should give up on sleep. Please, for the love of all that's holy, still try to sleep. But when you find yourself wide awake, instead of the usual anxiety spiral about not sleeping, try thinking, "Okay, universe, what are you trying to tell me right now?". Lean into this but don't over think it, you could be surprised at what insights you gain during this time.

Moon Cycle Awareness

Here's something most women don't realise. Your sleep patterns during perimenopause often sync up with lunar cycles in ways that might surprise you. It's about reconnecting with natural rhythms that our artificially lit world has made us forget.

Start paying attention to when your sleep is most disrupted in relation to the moon phases. Many women find their sleep is most challenging around the new moon, when everything feels dark and introspective, and the full moon, when energy feels heightened and chaotic.

Keep a simple moon phase app on your phone and track your sleep patterns alongside it for a few months. You might discover that your "bad sleep weeks" coincide with specific phases, which can help you prepare mentally and adjust your expectations. When you know a full moon is coming and historically that's when your sleep goes haywire, you can plan accordingly. Maybe schedule lighter days, prepare some extra self care, or just remind yourself that this too shall pass.

Sacred Sleep Rituals

In the spirit of honesty here, this kind of idea used to really annoy me. How on earth can I create a calm transition into sleep when I'm trying to prep for tomorrow, get kids lunches and uniforms organised for school and make sure that there is petrol in the car and food in the fridge. I know this is something that cannot happen every single night, life happens but if you can make space for this it really, really helps.

See if you can transform your bedtime routine into a ritual that honors this transition phase of your life. This isn't about elaborate ceremonies, unless that's your thing, it's about bringing intentionality and reverence to your sleep preparation.

Start with a simple blessing or intention setting practice. As you wash your face, thank your body for carrying you through another day of this wild transition. As you put on your pajamas, set an intention for restful sleep and peaceful dreams. Light a candle (safely) and spend a few moments appreciating the day that's ending and releasing any stress or worries.

Create a small bedside altar with objects that bring you peace. Maybe a smooth stone, a photo that makes you smile, a small plant, or anything that feels meaningful to you. This gives you a focal point for gratitude and intention setting that doesn't involve your phone.

The key is consistency and meaning, not perfection. Even on nights when you're exhausted and just want to collapse into bed, taking 30 seconds to light that candle or touch that meaningful object can signal to your nervous system that it's time to shift into rest mode.

Journaling for Sleep. Download Your Brain

One of the biggest sleep disruptors during perimenopause is the mind that won't shut up. Your brain suddenly becomes convinced that the early hours are the perfect time to solve world hunger, plan next year's holiday, and worry about that conversation you had six months ago.

Keep a notebook by your bed. NOT your phone's notes app, an actual pen and paper notebook. When your mind starts spinning, don't fight it. Instead, do a "brain dump" by writing down everything that's swirling around up there. Don't worry about making sense or being profound, just get it out of your head and onto paper. It can be just a couple of words so it out there. If you want to try some more structured journalling you could try these specific journaling prompts for better sleep:

• "What am I trying to control that I actually can't control?"

• "What three things went well today, even if they were tiny?"

• "What does my body need from me right now?"

• "What am I ready to let go of?"

The physical act of writing helps process emotions and thoughts in a different way than just thinking about them. Plus, there's something satisfying about literally putting your worries down somewhere outside your head.

Worry Time scheduling (Advanced Technique)

THis is linked to the above section but just a little bit more detail and slightly differnt technique which I have found works wonders. Your brain doesn't distinguish between a real emergency and your worry about whether you remembered to send that email. The key is training your brain that bedtime is not problem solving time.

Set up a daily "worry window". Literally schedule 15 to 20 minutes, ideally earlier in the day when your cognitive function is stronger. During this time, write down worries and categorise them. Things you can control and take action on, things you can influence but not control, and things completely outside your control.

For actionable items, write down one concrete next step. For things you can influence, note what you can do and accept what you can't. For things outside your control, practice mentally releasing them. Imagine putting them in a box and setting it aside.

When worries pop up at bedtime, remind yourself you've already handled this and will address it during tomorrow's worry time. Write it down quickly if needed, but don't engage with problem solving. This takes practice but works remarkably well once established.

Simple energy clearing

You don't need to understand chakras or energy meridians to benefit from energy clearing practices. Think of it as a way to help your nervous system reset and release the accumulated stress and emotions of the day.

Try this simple practic. Starting at the top of your head, imagine gently brushing away the day's stress and tension with your hands, working down your body. As you "brush," visualise all the day's interactions, frustrations, and worries falling away like dust. Pay special attention to areas where you hold tension, your shoulders, jaw, stomach.

Some women like to imagine collecting all this released energy and sending it down into the earth to be transformed, or up to the stars to be dissolved. Others prefer to simply imagine it dissipating into the air. There's no right way to do this, just what feels good to you. You can find guided meditations online to help if you feel like this would be beneficial.

Breathwork

Your breath is the most accessible tool you have for shifting your nervous system from "fight or flight" to "rest and digest." During perimenopause, when your nervous system is already on high alert from hormonal fluctuations, breathwork becomes even more powerful.

You could try "coherent breathing" . This is simply breathing in for 5 counts and out for 5 counts, creating a smooth, even rhythm. This naturally synchronises your heart rate variability and activates your parasympathetic nervous system.

Another powerful technique is the "sigh of relief" breath. Take a normal inhale, then add a little more air at the top, and exhale with an audible "ahhh" sound. This mimics your body's natural stress release mechanism and can instantly shift your nervous system toward relaxation. Breathwork is an extensive supbject and a really pwerful tool. This is just a simple example of a couple of techniques you can use in the moment. I will take a deeper look at breathwork in another blog but there are plenty of books and you tube tutorials if you want to take a deeper dive.

Working with your dreams

Perimenopause often brings vivid, strange, or intense dreams. I experience this on almost a nightly basis. But instead of dismissing them as "just weird hormone dreams," try viewing them as your psyche's way of processing this major life transition.

Keep that bedside notebook handy for dream journaling too. You don't need to become a dream interpretation expert, but paying attention to recurring themes, emotions, or symbols in your dreams can offer insights into what your subconscious is working through.

Sometimes perimenopausal dreams are processing grief, for your younger self, for lost opportunities, for the children who are growing up, or for the woman you used to be. Other times they're exploring new aspects of yourself that are emerging. Honor these dreams as part of your transformation process. So next time your brain is taking you on wild ride in your dream universe, dont wake up in a panic, just spend a few minutes when you wake seeing what information your subconscious might be trying to process.

Meditation for restlessness

Traditional meditation might feel impossible when your mind is bouncing around like a caffeinated squirrel, but there are gentler approaches that work better during this phase of life.

Try walking meditation during the day to help settle your nervous system for better sleep later. Simply walk slowly and deliberately, paying attention to each step and the sensations in your body. This moving meditation can be more accessible than sitting still when you're feeling restless or anxious.

For bedtime, try "noting meditation" instead of trying to stop thoughts, simply notice them and gently label them. "Thinking," "Worrying," "Planning," "Remembering." Don't judge the thoughts,don't attach to the thought and let it take you down a rabbit hole, just acknowledge them and return your attention to your breath or body sensations.

Sleep Anxiety

Sleep anxiety, which is basically worrying about not sleeping, which makes you more awake, is incredibly common during menopause. The thoughts usually follow patterns like "I'll never fall asleep," "I'll be exhausted tomorrow," "This is ruining my health."

Challenge these thoughts with realistic alternative. "I've had bad nights before and managed fine," "Even resting is better than nothing," "My body will eventually sleep when it needs to." Keep a list of these realistic responses written down to reference when anxiety spirals start.

Remember that lying in bed resting, even without sleeping, provides some restoration. Your body temperature drops, your heart rate slows, and your nervous system has a chance to reset, even if you don't achieve deep sleep. The worst thing you can do is attach to these thoughts and let them run riot. Bring your thoughts back to your breathing and use your prepared sentences as an internal mantra.

Final Thoughts on Sleep

The goal isn't to become a spiritual guru overnight. It's about finding simple, sustainable practices that help you feel more grounded and peaceful during this chaotic transition.

Start small. maybe it's just setting an intention before bed, or writing down one thing you're grateful for, or taking three conscious breaths when you wake up at night. Build from there based on what feels good and actually helps.

Remember, this phase won't last forever, even though it might feel like you've been sentenced to eternal sleeplessness by the hormone gods. Your sleep will improve, your nervous system will settle, and you'll emerge from this transition with new depths of wisdom and resilience.

In the meantime, be patient with yourself, embrace the mystery of this transformation, and know that even your sleepless nights are serving a purpose in your journey toward becoming the woman you're meant to be in this next chapter of your life.